Our adventures begin...

This is the first blog update in the Chronicles of the Wills or, as you will soon begin to know them as, the Dynamic Duo - amongst other names. The NBs are always in the first person by the way, just to mix it up a little 😊

Cote d’Opal, France  July 2009

Richard informed Jaine that the tent he’d bought for their “big adventure” had been described by Mike as “a bit small”. Hmmm, well at least they’d be cosy, thought Jaine.

The night before, Richard and Jaine decided to try the tent. It was packed into a bag no bigger than a Hula Hoop (the non-potato snack type), and Jaine was a bit fearful that it was going to be “too” small.

She need not have worried; once the tent had exploded into life in the lounge it was actually huge! Richard was chuffed and, after a long time spent admiring it, got the instructions out ready to repack it.

What a palaver! Eventually, after 20 or so attempts, the huge tent was back in its tiny bag. Result!

The big day arrived, and Richard and Jaine had packed enough for a huge adventure, not just a ‘travelling light’ mini-break. They were staying, at least for one night, at a campsite called La Phare. How excited they were….

The morning after the night before

Richard and Jaine had spent a very pleasant hour the evening before on the ferry; the time passed quickly, and Jaine had even had a little cheeky Pinot.

The journey to the campsite was not without incident. The Satnav did not pick up La Phare and, upon stopping for directions, they found no-one who spoke English. No matter, with their knowledge of a little French, they were able to find their way.

They soon wished they hadn’t!

Once they eventually got in, they found there was no swimming pool, no luxury shower block and, sacre bleu, no bar/clubhouse. They had also been directed to the top of the hill to pitch their tent, approximately one mile from the gas chambers toilets.

They pitched their tent on a fairly flat piece of grass, and Richard started blowing up Jaine’s airbed. It soon became apparent that it was a non-starter as (a) it took an age to inflate and (b) once inflated, and in the tent, Jaine’s face was almost touching the top of the tent’s inner and Richard was squished into a space Jaine’s cat would have found a squeeze. How they laughed.

And laughed and laughed. It was ridiculous how small the tent actually was once our intrepid pair were lying in it, and within about ten minutes the roof walls and their faces were covered with droplets of condensation.

After about an hour of laughing, deflating the air bed, using it as a pillow, deflating it a bit more and putting it under Jaine as a blanket, they finally got to sleep. Richard went off almost immediately as did Jaine, but then she awoke and remained awake until the dawn shone through the window and then she slept a little more. She had not been comfortable at all.

However, it was a new day, and it was sunny. The stresses of the night before soon wore away as the hungry adventurers devoured a hearty sausage, bacon and beans breakfast.

NB: the night before, prior to the pitching of the tent, we had tried to find milk, couldn’t and settled for a beer instead. The people in the bar did not speak English either, so I had to use my pigeon-French to order some drinks. I did well 😊 (Richard)

So, a new day; a new adventure!

Hmmm, second-night camping was really good – so much so that it was a shame they couldn’t camp like that every night. The truth of the matter was, Richard and Jaine had stayed in Etap – not a picturesque village location, but a budget Travelodge! It had rained constantly for most of the day and looked set for the night. Jaine did not want to use the tent in the rain and Richard, fancying himself as a Ray Mears’ protégé, had not found any bamboo to fashion into a hut, so he allowed himself to be led away from his tent dreams. It was a good call.

The room, although basic, was comfortable. It had a bed, a loo and a shower. Our giddy globetrotters smuggled their stove in (the one with the piazza ignition) and cooked a lovely meal of ham and cheese omelette with a salad. Rich had a couple of beers and Jaine had a couple of glasses of Fitou all while watching Ugly Betty in French. Much better than a tent, they thought.

They awoke, fully refreshed and raring to go. As luck would have it, the weather was beautiful. After driving for a couple of hours, they settled in Mers-le-Bains and found the municipal campsite. This time they secured the tent properly and, as Richard sunbathed outside their “home”, Jaine brought everyone up to date via her journal. Let’s hope this night was better than their first, she mused.

NB Richard reminded me that I ought to mention the excellent lunch we have just eaten at Chez Claudine. The proprietors did not speak English very well; they mainly sold fish but, again, with my knowledge of pigeon-French, I managed to secure a sumptuous meal of “Poulet, Avec un Normandie crème” only it was “dinande” and not Poulet. Male chicken?? No matter, it was divine, and the owners, who looking back were getting ready to close for the day, stayed on until we were satisfied. (Jaine)

The municipal site proved to be rather enjoyable, and the intrepid pair sat up late into the night drinking rose wine and chatting. Earlier that evening Jaine had walked the twenty-minute route to the supermarket in search of cold beers and wine. The French do not store their beers in the fridge; it would seem, so Richard had to make do with his four warm-ish beers and Jaine a cold-ish bottle of Rose.

As they were having such a nice time, Richard decided he’d like more to drink, and so off they went in search of more wine (Richard was now converted to Rose wine). They found a bistro who sold them a 4EURO bottle for 9EURO. It was lush though, and they soon polished this off while listening to all around, gently snoring.

NB I realised why our first night had been so, erm, moist: we had slept in the tent the wrong way and had our heads in the short end. Hmmm, at least our second night we did it properly (Richard)

Road trip on the D940

Their last day was spent driving along the D940 coast road to Calais. They arrived around two in the afternoon and found a nice Bistro in the centre of Calais and stopped for lunch. Spaghetti Bolognese and a dessert. Mmmm it was hearty and delicious.

Once fed and watered they went in search of beer and wine to take home (they thought they’d better not waste the opportunity). Being unable to find Eastenders, they settled for Carrefour. Despite buying a fair amount, they did not think it as cheap as they’d expected.

Richard and Jaine’s last night was spent, again, camping. They were at the municipal site, right on the beach; the views from their tent were amazing. The sun was shining, right on them as they sat, quite private, outside their tent telling stories and drinking wine: not too much though as tomorrow they would have to be up early to catch the 10:45 ferry back to Blighty.

In typical fashion, our adventurers had decided how their evening was to end before it really began. Shortly after the above entry had been written, the heavens opened, and it didn’t stop raining until sometime in the wee small hours. Although the tent was waterproof, they figured it was not deluge proof. Damp and uncomfortable they slept fitfully yet awoke well in time to get to the port on time.

All home, safe and sound, the adventurers reflected on their escapades. The ferry home had been choppy, to say the least, but as it was only for an hour, it was fine. The trip home had seemed to last as age as they both wanted their beds. However, food was in order, and so they stopped in a Wetherspoons in Swindon – Thursday was curry day, and it was really good.

Swindon!

Just a quick note about Swindon, thought Richard – watch out for the roundabouts! Even the Satnav got confused and our, already sleep deprived, hungry travellers had to fight off their tetchiness. The curry fixed things though, and they ended the day all clean, in a clean bed, watching “Slumdog Millionaire”.

It had been a lovely few days.

Where to next?